Nobody has ever started a conversation by saying, "Here is my wisdom." It slips in sideways.

It comes with the kettle

Mrs. Adeyemi told us how to forgive someone while she was making tea. Mr. Okafor explained patience by describing how he fixed his neighbour's fence. Neither of them thought they were teaching anything.

Listen for the ordinary

When you listen to older people, listen for the ordinary parts: the routines, the small kindnesses, the habits that kept a family together for sixty years. That is where the wisdom lives.